Motherhood- hardest career there is, right? But man, kids. They change your heart. A whole heck of a lot of challenges come with motherhood, as with any worthwhile pursuit in life. You get to see all your weaknesses magnified and many of your selfish desires laid on the altar if you want to be a great mom. And yet- this is the happiest I've ever been. All that I gave up- and I'd do it all again. Well- I will do it again someday God-willing. Ha.
With all the narsty stuff happening in the world, I'm just feeling a little sentimental about my kiddo, who is my hope. Can't do much about Boston from here, can't give back the lives that have been lost. But I can look at my personal American dream- my little family. My daughter who represents the innocence and purity I know is still beating in hearts around the world, even when times are hard. My sister in law Rachel wrote a gorgeous song for her 2 year old daughter Claire, and in it sings of how she leans on her to be the change the world needs. I feel that bigtime. I feel strongly my biggest contribution to this society will be my daughter.
She is brave, strong, compassionate, and determined. She will be a light in the darkness, leading others to the one man who understands how to heal it all.
All the opportunities I've let walk away for the honor of being Kate's mother are simply dry leaves and faded blossoms blowing away in the wind that changes the seasons of my life. Being her mother is a season I want to cherish. I have grown into this role and though at first I was terrified it would never feel natural, now it is me. It's got Nikki written all over it. I'm just my own kind of mother. And I can trust God to send me kids that need me as their mom. And hopefully I can give them belief and honesty and bravery and love to protect them in this ever-darkening world. Seeing what I've seen, I don't know how I couldn't join the army of mothers trying to protect what is most dear to the world. And so Kate- I am devoted to you.
My part matters. Our part matters because we matter. Our daily contributions of nurturing teaching and caring for others may seem mundane, diminished, difficult, and demeaning at times, yet as we remember that first line in the YW theme- we are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us, it will make all the difference in our relationships and our responses.
- Elaine S. Dalton
You are the trip I did not take;
You are the pearls I cannot buy;
You are my blue Italian lake;
You are my piece of foreign sky.
-Anne Campbell
*tears* So many feels! You are amazing. Great post!! So comforting and wonderful in this hard time. <3
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this post Nikki! When you can't have children it's really difficult to watch other people taking motherhood for granted. This made me really happy because I can tell that you LOVE being a mom and it made me even more excited to experience that. :) There is still a lot of good in this world.
ReplyDeleteI loved this! Thanks Nikki. :)
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